No way to go without conscious Fear
I hit the ground. I am in pain. I am in Fear, Sadness and Rage. And I want a Change.
I am living in New Zealand for the last 4 months in a deep connection to Gaia. I am breathing with her, letting in her sounds to penetrate my bodies that changes me over and over again. I connect to the stars, rocks and plants. I hear their noise and feel their profound presence shouting for more connection, space and aliveness. I am not able to not notice what is happening. I am not able to close my eyes, ears, and other senses to the pain of Gaia. It is too laud.
Few days ago I was in conversation with Gaia, starting with gratitude for everything she is. And I started to sob when it came to me that we may not exist here any longer in this century. All the waves of clarity and information about the collapse of oil, the climate and the environment, the mass extinction of animal species, cutting down the wild forest hit me so much all at once that I didn’t feel any more ground under my feet. This wave of energy of sadness, fear and rage was so strong that it made a huge impact on my decisions, actions, plans, and generally the way I am. And while I was in this process suddenly from nowhere I started to hear the sound of huge machines cutting the trees on the land. I got even more scared. It became even more real. Half an hour later the big truck came to my tent, where almost no one is coming as I live in the orchard of the private land and asked me if there is any wood chips here. The world gets desperate. Later on when my son came back home out of nothing he said to me pointing to the barely growing grass on the soil „I want this grass grow so big like a tree”. In this moment I capitulated. I was not able to hold this what was happening in me. I got already enough signs. Gaia is calling! Gaia is calling me and you to stand in our power as Human Beings and open up for the Archetypal forces that can flow through us to heal.
We can still stay numb to what is happening in the world, hoping that the leaders will find the answer. We can believe that it is a description of what is potentially to happen but in fact it is happening.
What would you do if you knew that we have 25 years of living here on Earth?
What if it is true?
I do feel a lot of Fear about it. Fear that calls me to act.
We are in the moment of our existence where we need more than ever Mage workers and Sourceress with their technology and skills. We need You.
You can still think that you are not ready, you are not there yet and wait to heal that and that. And the risk is that if you wait, it might be too late. It doesn’t matter that you are not healed fully, you still have wounds, you don’t communicate perfectly. The most important is what you create. The gift that you have is for us, for entire planet and we need it now.
„I feel no fear.” When I hear this statement from another person, I start to worry. How is it possible for someone to feel no fear? How is it possible not to feel our feelings, what is an integral part of us, of being human, having a heart? It’s like saying I don’t feel hungry or I don’t feel pain. Is this even possible? What level of numbness do someone has to not feel it? And why so high?
This is understandable. We live in a culture and management system, economy and economics that use fear to control us. Competing at school, climbing the professional ladder, buying on credit, following TV ads – all to avoid being left behind. We move on, just like everyone else. Until we realize that we have allowed ourselves to be dominated by crazy authorities and social pressure, we distance ourselves from all activities. We’re going to another planet called „The system will not get me. I will not let them to scare me.” We meditate, do yoga, relax in the nature not really facing the reality.
The three main strategies we learn when fear enters our system are flight, fight, or freeze. And when we are able to control situations, predict what will happen, we can play with the rules given to us by modern culture with the attributes of power and money, we can run away or even fight, but when we face something that really scares us, we do not understand it, we are afraid. Don’t even think about what the consequences might be. The most effective method of survival is freezing. The question is for how long?
This is what some people point to when they say „I don’t want to live in fear.” They look at the collapse of the environment, the economic and political madness, and they sense that if the situation is really that serious, there is no real way to fight it effectively, and there is no place to which they can escape for safety, and they rightly assume that freezing in the face of something that big probably won’t work either. Our traditional responses to fear are breaking down facing the danger we all are.
When we suppress fear, we unconsciously choose an automatic reaction over a creative response. We don’t let fear and worry do their job, the job of alerting us not only that we are in danger, but also that this danger is huge and new and so terrible that our normal responses will not help us. Reacting instead of responding is living in fear. The reaction is always limited. Those who say, „I don’t want to live in fear,” already do. Fear rejection is a fear reaction to fear itself.
Rejecting fear has a price. We pay with the loss of the opportunity to say what is important to us, to do what is to be done, to stand for our values, to create close, intimate relationships, to live on a planet full of resources and natural wealth. And on top of all this, we pay an additional cost in the form of energy that we spend on pretending that we don’t feel, that we don’t see what’s going on, to cover up everything that we have inside us.
What we haven’t been taught that makes a fundamental difference is that fear is information. If we feel fear, it means we have something to say. This means that energy and information flow through us, which is a resource that we can bring into space. Responding to fear means coming out with something new to create a different solution. This solution is needed for the here and now. If we feel fear, this is our contribution that we can make to create a new world.
As humans, we are able to experience high levels of fear and be OK with that. Our nervous system is the conductor of fear in our body, and using it skillfully increases our creative abilities. We notice, feel, respond and create. Every transformation we can make is done using conscious fear. Increasing our body’s capacity for fear increases our ability to create the world we want to live in. Our culture needs to evolve, and every person who feels conscious fear contributes to that evolution.
People who consciously choose to encounter their fear enter into it, experience it, and observe it. This doesn’t mean they are no longer afraid. It means they faced their fears and found it more than just a rival. This means that they have discovered their strength to react even when they are afraid, which is the definition of courage. They’re visible because they don’t really have anywhere to hide, but they’re not frozen. They respond fearfully, and intuitively, creating as they act.
Yesterday was my birthday and my dear friend, Hannah shared with me her writing, which deeply resonated in my heart and is still bubbling in my entire system. I feel the call to share it with you. Let it land in your hearts beloved fellows:
„One consciousness, we are. The colors of the rainbow,
White Light Beings, we refract, breaking shadow,
Side by side our iridescence weaving,
Coming together, then gently leaving waves of energy, a constant dance,
Creating new patterns, when we take the chance,
Ever changing, yet somehow the same,
Subatomic particles of stardust we remain.”
If you feel the call to create a new world, join me in the experimental spaces to open up for the intelligence of Fear to bring us to the next level of our Evolution.
Worktalk – Listen to Wisdom of Gaia
Fear Club – Initiation to Aliveness and Creation
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