10 adults, 6 kids, 40 visitors…
Hundreds of hours of being together, raging, crying, laughing and bringing our Fear forward.
This is how it was in our 30-day Polish Bridge House in Polana, near Warsaw. This Bridge-House has transformed my thoughtware about Poland, Polish people and our boxes. We were in the land of the former Polish army. What we did is the evidence that we are able to use our power, determination, persistence and collaboration in the name of Life instead of Death. This is a change of a paradigm of what we Poles can create while we come together.
How did that started…
There was an impulse to create the Bridge-House in Poland with other Possibilitators to bring us closer to each other. We started collecting the group of people and made a first call. One month later we were already in Polana creating a Bridge-House. We were in the land of the foundation where Basia, one of us is living. At this moment there were 20 empty tiny houses, fully equipped so that we could move in straight away. Besides, there were 3 huge yurts that we could use as a common space or training space. It looked like this place was waiting for us, to be inhabited and cavitated with the Next Culture.
We started every day with breakfast together, logistics, check-ins and 333 rage and afternoon we had 3-hour slot to do something together. We didn’t make a plan for what to do at this time. The processes or activities were emerging in the moment. One of the purposes of creating this Bridge-House was to grow the PM community in Poland. We decided to create 5-day long „open days” for the visitors so that they can experience living in the context of radical responsibility and take part in the training to learn new tools and skills. We created a program and sent the invitation to our circles. 10 days later when the open days started we welcomed in our Bridge-House 40 visitors that were coming from all over Poland. It felt like we were in a huge vacuum space that was pulling in people hungry for connection, collaboration, transformation and high-level fun.
Open Days
The first evening of our Open Days event we held the space for Women circle where we shared our anger and longing for the life we want to live in. The next days we held space for Rage Club, Fear Club, Being Unhookable, Forest Feelings, Intimacy Cafe and other spaces that were emerging spontaneously also by visitors. For us it mattered to create a space where everyone who is there takes responsibility for what she or he creates. Every new person who was crossing the entrance gate was welcomed by us and introduced to the context of our village. For many people that was already the point where they started to feel a lot, realizing that this is a different culture than the one they were living so far.
After the first day, we (space holders of BH) noticed that the space of radical responsibility is not working so well as mostly that was us who were spaceholders for context, training, logistics, meals, etc. We brought that to the bigger circle and shared our feelings about that. After the next day, the space has shifted. Others started to take responsibility for what was to be done in the space. They were bringing their own impulses not only for logistics but also for spaces that they wanted to create. I felt glad that with such a big and diverse group that could work. I also learnt that for me holding space for this event, for training and logistics at the same time is too much. There was a moment when I felt a lot of fear that I couldn’t control anymore what is happening. New people were arriving, I lost track of who was accommodated where and who was holding space for what. And at this moment I noticed that I am not able to control that at this stage. At this moment my controlling box freaked out and I decided to try to let it go and trust the space. I felt a lot of relief the next days seeing that the space was held and I didn’t have to control everything.
The magical thing that happened to me was with my sister with whom I didn’t have contact for more than a year. She decided to visit me spontaneously. In the moment she arrived we had the intimacy cafe. I invited her to that space. Another woman joined us and started to share her story about her brother-in-law whom she doesn’t have contact with. It had opened a healing space for me and my sister that turned out at the end to Being appreciation space. We were crying and laughing, hugging and celebrating the new connection between us. I feel so lucky to have another, powerful Woman at my side.
Open Days was a wild and alive space. Some of the visitors joined the possibility teams that already existed, some declared to come to ETB training, some were in fire to create their own Bridge-House, and some decided to leave their corporate jobs. My heart jumps with joy from all these steps towards Next Culture.
Building the village with kids
One of my research in the Bridge-House was how to create an Archan Village with kids where adults are holding space for what they love to do and for kids. I loved the way we were living. Tiny houses located in the circle with a big area for free play in the middle and a big yurt as a common space for adults and kids created a great possibility to easily connect, join others in their activities or just hang out together with a tea on the terrace.
In the first 2 weeks, we experimented with shared space holding for kids which means that one or two adults were holding space for all six kids for 1 or 2 hours and afterwards they were shifting with other adults. What I learned was that each of us, adults, is different and is holding space for another piece in the New Culture. I felt glad that my kids could experience the uniqueness of each of us.
What I have noticed after two weeks of shared holding spaces was that my 4-year-old son was mainly with other kids and adults, not me. I saw his hunger and curiosity for meeting others, joining their activities and doing all the time something different. There were moments when I was proposing him to do something together but he was choosing to be with kids. I was glad to see his openness and natural way of moving in the village according to his impulses. I also felt sad as I was missing him and I am learning how can I create a nest for him so that he can nourish emotionally while he is in daily life with the village. I have noticed the difference between me and other mothers. I noticed how I let my kids to do what they want and not model the activity for them and I am with the question – what is a way to raise a child so that he can discover his own desires and learn new skills.
At the end of the Bridge-House one man told me that the village will not give me everything (in terms of kids raising). And I don’t know. What I know is that I will not give everything to my kids. I can give this what I am, what is coming through me. Show them my way of living, my Bright Principles, my love. Each of us is unique and has something different to bring by the way we are. Kids learn mostly from observing and being with. If we do what we love and care about, kids learn to do what they love and care about. And this is what I want to teach my kids the most.
There was a 6-year-old girl, Gaja, with us. She participated in daily 333 rage with us and morning check-ins. One day when we were sitting in the circle and she said: „I propose to hold space for a workshop about emotions for kids and adults at 12.00 today. Who is in?” And she did it. She invented her own way of working with anger, fear, sadness and joy. She was holding space with clarity, and spontaneous ideas and it worked. Kids learn very fast.
This Bridge-House was for me an extraordinary space of collaboration, love and connection. I am so grateful for the whole team – adults Wojciech, Ewa, Karol, Karol, Marta, Justyna, Basia, Marcin, Beata and kids Gaja, Leo, Leo, Stefan, Mia i Miki. In this magical space, the idea of creating a long-term village in the context of Possibility Management in Poland has ignited. I see it as the next evolutionary step toward Archan way of living.
Next Kid’s Culture
A year ago when I was in the Radically Alive event in New Zealand with other Women we were planting the seeds that we are carrying. One of my seeds was to create a Next Kids’ Culture. Once I planted the seed I saw an image of all the school books burning and there was a clear message to us adults – create a space for kids to listen to their wisdom. This seed is now growing. In the Women on Earth Lab where I was last week with the other 41 Women once I was speaking from my anger about what I wanted the vision of holding space for kids came back. It is clear for me to discover and experiment of how child raising looks like in the Next Culture. Thats why I took a stand to co-create a gameworld for Archan Mothers and bring our discoveries to a broader audience. All the kids carry the seed of Archiarchy. I want to listen to them.
In the modern culture, adults take care about what children are learning but the first question that comes to me is how they are learning. From my observation children are learning by observing, being with and experimenting. Learning is not a choice. It is natural for every being. We become what we experience so the context is all that matters. I live in a space where Empowerment, Love, Clarity, Creation, Magic and other Bright Principles happen. What I can do for my kids is to keep the context clear, and live it, and teaching without teaching will happen.
When I come back to my childhood the strongest memories that I have are the ones that involved all my bodies. I learned through experience and discovery. I see this natural tendency of my kids to be curious, to try things by themselves, to invent and create something from nothing. It is natural as we are here to evolve. What I want to do for kids is to not kill this natural force of Evolution in them and what I observe is that kids are doing great without us interfering much. It doesn’t mean that they will not feel something.
We don’t have toys and at the same time my kids find toys everywhere. When they come across some piece of sand or they create all the words they imagine – hills, streets, food, castles etc. If you give kids toys you direct their activities. You teach them what you know. What if kids can teach you something? What if they will come up with ideas, and inspirations that you never heard about? I want to create Next Culture with them as I know that they transmit the information and wisdom that we, adults, often do not see clearly.
It is scary for me to experiment with raising kids in the village, letting go the „good practices of parenting” made in modern culture and follow my instincts and feelings. I am aware that it is a path that doesn’t exist yet and nobody will tell me how it goes. And I am excited to keep going this path with feedback, shifts, and goes.
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